Adding value to someone simply put is leaving them better than before you knew them. This person is better off for knowing you. This is a glorious commodity because you literally impact a generation.
Having a good legacy is spiritual gold. What do you want to be remembered for?
The way in which we sow in other people’s lives will tell that story for us.
So then, how do we optimize every interaction? By being more thoughtful.The quickest way to add immense value into someone’s life is to be considerate. Consideration speaks to one thing; our humanity. Consideration is the great equalizer; it does not take any resource other than time, to think about someone else.
Thinking about someone else in a positive way that is helpful and genuine can interject immense value in a situation almost instantaneously. Being considerate means: I am willing to go out of my way to edify someone else. The bible tells us that:
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,
When you come into a moment where you can potentially add value, ask yourself: How can I make someone’s situation better right now based on the resources that I have access to?
A foundational premise for value is that you live in abundance.An abundance mentality says that you always have everything you need. You must operate from that place because otherwise the opposite of abundance is scarcity.
What drives innovation is abundance and ease, not the pressure of scarcity.
A scarce person is an unhelpful person. People who cannot be helpful cannot add value.
Position yourself to be of value, It is of benefit for you to be a benefit to someone else:
The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.
Adding value to someone is also situational – not everyone can add value in every situation. We put ourselves in a valuable position when we do what we are confident in, and we are confident about doing it.
This comes from living a purpose driven life. When you do what brings you value, you can impart value into others. Simply put, adding value means you have to want to make other people’s lives better, and be willing to act on that desire.
Do you have trouble falling asleep at night? Ever after a long arduous day got in bed and closed your eyes trying to go to sleep just to realize five minutes in, that you are wide awake? Or maybe you were able to fall asleep however, once you woke up in the morning you felt groggy, sluggish, and more tired than when you originally laid down the night before.
If you are like me, then you understand and appreciate the importance of sleep in your life. It is how we recharge our batteries, and it gives our body’s the time necessary to replenish itself.
The issue in relation to sleep are our habits leading up to and coming out of our slumbering experience. Here are some habits you can implement into your daily life that will bolster your sleep experience; enabling you to feel better rested and more energized to face each day head on:
Destroy your Alarm
Let’s start with what is probably going to be seen as the most controversial. If you want to improve your quality of sleep, stop using your alarm. Firstly, the value of an alarm is questionable at best. Not to say that there is not a reason to use one, but answer this question: What is your relationship with your alarm clock?
In short, alarms are not the most beneficial to your material wellbeing. Additionally, most people use a phone to set their alarm and looking at a screen before bed does not help with achieving a restful sleep.
If you need to be up so that you have time to prepare for work, try going to bed notably earlier than normal so that you allow yourself time to wake up naturally. Additionally, if you must have an alarm in the morning, be intentional in only setting one with no need to press the snooze button.
You can also change the sound of your alarm. If you are among the iPhone user population in particular, you know how dreadfully awful the radar ring sound is as an alarm. Try changing the tone to something more tranquil, peaceful, and angelic, to facilitate a healthy and exhilarating waking experience as opposed to one that will cause your heart to palpitate.
The bottom line is, you want your alarm to work with you not against you. You do not need an alarm to wake you up for your passions. I would suggest that if you are in the category of people who need a multitude of alarms, it is possible that there is something in your life that is sapping more energy than necessary from you. Identify the energy vampire in your life and do what you can to remove it/reduce its impact.
This can lead to a poor quality of sleep, a risk of weight gain, tossing and turning at night, and a potential for other health problems. If you are a night owl like myself and are up at all hours of the night sometimes into the morning, that is not an excuse to eat a full blown meal at 3am however, I feel your pain.
One thing you can do to mitigate this issue is to be intentional about your snacking habits. If you find yourself hungry after dinner and its late in the evening, before you reach for the chocolate-chip cookies, or the tub of ice cream, try having some healthy alternatives on hand instead.
The problem with eating foods that are high in carbs and sugars at night is that they take longer for your body to digest and could disrupt your sleep pattern. Not to mention, that you run the risk of binge eating, or eating more than originally intended. Using a bag of chips for example: one chip can turn to 10 can turn to 30 really quickly.
Another good rule of thumb is to make a consorted effort in making your last main meal of the day (dinner) no less than three hours before your bedtime. If preferable, you can also introduce an intermittent fasting schedule into your diet as well to help reign in those renegade cravings.
Utilize Sleep Supplements
Before I talk about good sleep aid supplements, I want to first address things that you might be ingesting that are not helpful for your sleep – an obvious one being caffeine. While caffeine has a multitude of benefits, those helpful traits do not extend into bedtime. Having something that is caffeinated too close to bedtime can drastically reduce your quality of sleep.
Coffee, energy drinks, sodas, caffeinated teas, and dark chocolate are all things that you should avoid up to eight hours before bedtime. In a study, people who consumed caffeine within six hours before sleep identified with having a significantly diminished quality of sleep. It is recommended that you avoid coffee and other highly caffeinated food past 4pm to ensure a good night’s rest.
Another thing that should be avoided to promote a restful night of sleep is alcohol. Alcohol before bed increases symptoms of sleep apnea, snoring, and irregular sleep patterns.
Melatonin is a hormone that encourages sleep in our body. It is a rather useful supplement that has proven affects. In one study, it was found that 2 mgs of melatonin before bed leads to a better quality of sleep during the night and a feeling of being well rested and more energized in the morning. Melatonin can also help you fall asleep faster.
In most places’ melatonin is an over the counter drug, that can be acquired at nearly any store/supermarket. If you are in the market for a melatonin supplement however, my personal favorite is the one that I offer through my E-Store. N* Sweet Dreams – Sleep Gummies, are amazing!
This melatonin supplement is vegetarian, gluten free, and with no artificial flavors or sweeteners. They are in gummy form, so they are super easy to ingest and it is and enjoyable experience. All you do is take two of them 30 minutes before bed and allow their magic to work.
Another way to improve your quality of sleep is to make sure that you are sleeping in optimal conditions. This means that you are sleeping in a cooler environment that is both soothing and relaxing. It also means that you have quality sheets and blankets, and a set of good pillows, all adorning a comfortable mattress.
By setting your room to a cooler temperature when you sleep, you are allowing your body to utilize less energy while sleeping. Our body’s temperature naturally drops during bedtime so by facilitating that process, you encourage your body to fall asleep sooner and more deeply.
Having a good set of sheets, blankets, and pillows should be a no brainer when it comes to getting high quality sleep. Being equipped with these things are vital to ensuring your comfort. The goal is to combat anything that would detract from your overall sleep experience and having materials on your bed that may make you uncomfortable will impede you from getting a good night’s rest.
The same goes for your mattress. You want to make sure that you have a mattress that is complementary to your body. Make sure that you have something supportive that does not irritate the normal pressure points on a human’s body. You also want to be attentive to the positioning of your spine while you sleep as to detract from additional discomforts. If your mattress is not the best, there are several memory foam and mattress cover products you can purchase and put over your bed to increase its comfort level.
As a general rule of thumb, make sure your pillows are not overused meaning flat and lacking buoyancy. And on average, you should be changing your sheets every two weeks to ensure freshness, and that wonderful crisp feeling you get when laying in a clean and inviting bed.
Take Your Clothes Off
Lastly, to ensure a better quality of sleep, I encourage you to take your clothes off. At first glance this one is obviously a little racy however, there is science and logic behind this tip as well. Sleeping in a cool environment not only helps you sleep better, but it also has a multitude of other health benefits that include: anti-aging, increased melatonin levels, weight loss, enhanced mood, and reduced stress.
Sleeping while naked will improve your body temperature regulation allowing your body to cool down during bedtime. Having a lower body temperature during sleep will help you fall asleep quicker and easier.
Health is wealth, so ensure your wealth and your legacy by making sure that you are getting a good night’s sleep regularly. Good sleep is not a luxury, it is for you too, and I hope you start taking advantage of it every night.
Since the Coronavirus pandemic has started, my focus has been physical mental emotional and spiritual health. I believe that for a person to live a life worth living, they have to do so in alignment. This means that their actions reflect their beliefs which reflects their convictions.
One of the ways in which I fulfill the needs of my mind body and spirit is by going on extended or long walks. This habit of mine started at the beginning of the shut down for the purposes of promoting my mental health. You see, sitting around your house, like a lot of us are inevitably doing right now, can be detrimental in all the areas just mentioned, specially on your mental health.
Going on long and extended walks help with alleviating the stress both covert and overt that leading a sedimentary lifestyle can ensue. When you are not active regularly, your body grows accustomed to it. Newton’s law of motion states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion while in object at rest tends to stay at rest. As this relates to our lives, by taking 30 minutes to an hour a day to walk and get your body moving, you are promoting not only physical health but also mental and spiritual health.
The fruits of living in alignment is self-improvement, and the fruits of self-improvement is growth. There is a direct correlation between how you treat yourself and where you end up in life. There are only two directions that we can go: forward or nowhere; Walking is the simplest form of this reality.
When you go on long walks you allow yourself to also connect with the world around you. You will start noticing different things in your environment. You will notice the changing colors on the trees, you will feel the refreshing breeze that gently blows, and see things that you would not normally pay attention to. This is your spirit connecting with the energy around it.
You are a spiritual being having a physical experience meaning that everything around you reflects what is taking place inside of you. How you interact with your environment is a mirror to how you interact with yourself. Going on walks can be a good way to improve upon your self-perception by changing how you perceive the world around you.
The people you pass by, the cars that pass you by, the squirrels in the trees, and pets in the streets; All of these environmental stimuli are canvases for your reactions. Nothing is inherently wrong with something existing; it is the stigma that we place on it that stems from our internal discourse that informs how we perceive that something. In other words, going on walks allows you to tap into your true power. Life does not happen to you; it happens for you. You have the choice in how you choose to label what you experience.
When I go for a walk, I can choose to react negatively to the person who may run through the stop sign as I am trying to cross the street. I can choose to have a negative reaction at the sound of kids playing in the nearby park. I can even decide to be upset at the dog barking at me as I walk pass. On the other hand, I can also choose to embrace the vivaciousness of life. Long walks connect us with the most humanistic and unique part of ourselves.
Long walks also help us to understand ourselves through introspection. One of the things that takes away from the lived experience is the fact that everything is vying for our attention. The average human being’s attention span is less than that of a goldfish. We cannot even dedicate 9 seconds to something before getting distracted by something else. This is because we are inundated by information from various sources all the time.
Question: When was the last time you gave yourself the same amount attention that you give your favorite YouTube videos? When was the last time you focused on yourself as much as you focus on the things that you allow to keep you busy? We stunt our own growth by not giving ourselves the proper amount of attention.
This is because in some cases we rather avoid ourselves for the purpose of not dealing with ourselves; yet we want other people to deal with ourselves for us. You cannot grow if you cannot face your own demons. And other people cannot save you from your demons because they have demons of their own. Introspection is the process of dealing with yourself in such a way that you begin to unravel who you are and why you are.
Take a long walk and disconnect from your intentional distractions. Take a long walk and connect with the authentic you.
I am not saying that going on long walks is a miracle cure, but what I am saying is that everything that we have at our disposal, even that which may seem the most insignificant has the potential to be the most life changing.
If you want to live a wealthy life, start by living a healthy one. Even if you can afford to shop at Whole Foods, what good is it if you are still seeking out the same unhealthy diet?
Going on long walks benefits you physically because it requires you to be active. It helps you emotionally because it allows you to choose how and what you react to. Long walks benefit your spiritual well-being because it allows you to connect with the environment around you, and they can have a positive impact on your mental health if you utilize the time constructively. I love a good long walk, and hopefully now, so will you.
This is going to be a very vulnerable piece for me. Honestly, I am struggling with writing it because of the different aspects of myself that this post is revealing. I am doing so however, because this is the only way we grow; by facing our fears and rising above various challenges. I hope that by the end of this there is something that you can take away from it.
Before I zoom out, it is important that I zoom in. Being alone and feeling alone are two completely different things. Have you ever been in a room full of people and still felt unseen or isolated? You were not technically alone, there were people all around you, but in your being, you were the only one there.
We all desire to be seen to be heard and to be known, but what does that look like within the context of the individual? I entitled this coping with loneliness but in reality, there is no cookie cutter way to mitigate this deficiency in our lives.
I struggle with this topic so deeply because all I know is loneliness. It pains me to acknowledge that fact because I have a plethora of people in my life who say and demonstrate their love and care for me; but when I look at the full picture, I have no one who is willing to go over the cliff with me.
What I am referring to is life over situational support. It is easy for a person to be “there” when you need them, but is a person willing to be there when you do not need them? I often ask myself the question, is anyone thinking of me? I feel like that is too much to ask of a person; “please consider me”.
Who am I to you for you to be considerate of my well-being? This question has an inherent implication of does one believe that they are worthy of consideration. Is my existence valuable enough to be thought of? If I were gone by the time I finished this post would anyone notice? In this week alone, It has been 72 hours, and no one has even thought that “hey Ken might not be alive I should see how he is doing”.
Once again I realize that is too much to ask of a person and I am tiptoeing very close to a place I hate to be, but the fact remains that I have a longing to belong and nowhere that I belong to. This is true in every area of my life – I am lonely in the most bitter sense of the word.
Who would be there for me if I could not be there for myself? Who is there for me when I cannot be there for myself? This is a new struggle, because I have recently come to the revelation that I cannot be all that I am meant to be without the help of someone else. I have a desire for companionship, and I hate that flaw in me.
I wish I was not so imperfect in this way. A desire to be known, accepted, and followed over a cliff. A longing to belong. A fetish to be fetishized. Worship. I desire to be worshiped.
I know this can come off as an extremist standpoint, and I am probably wrong for thinking this way, but when you look at it from a theological perspective, the bible says that we were created in God’s likeness meaning we bare his characteristics; If this is the case, and God wants to be worshiped, why would that not be something that is present in our own lives?
And when you think about it, have you ever met anyone who does not enjoy being celebrated? Call me crazy, but I would argue that adoration is part of the human experience. I may be one of the few people to express it in this way, but I refuse to believe that I am the only person to ever feel like this before.
The question becomes, how do we cope with our loneliness? I have considered every possible remedy that has come to my mind, and short of a significant other/wishing my mother was still alive, I have no answer. Again, I cannot stand how weak I am in this area of my life. I never asked to struggle in this way. No one consulted me before I was born and said:
“Hey, do you want to come into this world? You’re going to be a black man in America which means you are going to be hated and ignored by your society. You will have no support from the men in your life. Your mother will die shortly after your birth so you will have no idea what it means to have a woman in your life that loves and cares for you. you will constantly feel dejected and rejected. And your life will feel like a constant treadmill; no matter how long or how fast you run, you will still end up going nowhere. No one will understand you, and worse, no one will try to understand you, but hey, at least you will be alive… Oh, wait I forgot to mention you will also struggle with mental health issues and constantly wish for your own death”.
Not to be mellow dramatic, but rather to display my own humanity. This is what I go through. I dedicated this website to my authenticity, and it would be a gross negligence if I were not authentic with my audience throughout all my content. Yes, I am still hopeful for my future but every day I wake up, I live in my present, and I must process through the challenges that each individual day brings.
The moral of the story is that feeling lonely sucks. You can ask for help, hyper extend yourself and reach out to other people, even go see a therapist, and while those things may help in the moment I personally cannot say whether or not they alleviate the root of the problem. Loneliness stems from a desire to be desired and giving someone something they do not want will not make them want you. Paying for attention is sadistic in its own way. And being around people will not always make you feel less lonely.
The feeling of loneliness is an intentional flaw. A gift that came with life. I cannot say if it something that everyone goes through but it something that is prevalent in a lot of people’s lives. In some cases, our growth is predicated on who we do and do not have attached to us.
Loneliness is oxymoronic in its nature. It is selfish to ask someone to be part of your life, yet people want to be in and a part of something existential to themselves. The grand design of life is a grand joke being played on humans. We ponder this stuff as if we are the cause; we are only experiencing the symptoms.
I am about to give you my personal manifesto on how to live a life worth living. Self-respect is an essential if you want to be happy in your life. I find value in this topic because I believe that it is something that people do not really entertain as something worth discussing. For a multitude of reasons people will rationalize diminishing themselves for the purpose of bolstering someone else.
Unfortunately, the issue of low self-esteem is not isolated to an individual incident or a string of behaviors, self-deprecation can and does stem from an inherent human flaw. The problem for a lot of people is who they claim to be and who they actually are, are two different people.
This is because we present ourselves as who we wish we were. Or in a worst-case scenario we depict ourselves as what someone else said that we were. In either situation you are not living up to your true potential when you allow yourself to be impacted by things, and people that should not influence your life.
This is easier said than done because in all honesty, who goes into a situation with the expectation of being hurt? No one. No one wants to be hurt, especially by someone that they care for however, the first thing to realize is that given the opportunity, people will hurt you. Not always because they want to, but because the one thing that every human being is excellent at, is hurting other human beings.
This can come in the form of a sly comment or remark, a lack of consideration, selfishness, or straight up cruelty. Do not start acting all holier than thou now, we all have done it to someone we claim we care for at one point or another. Self-Respect begins and ends at the root of our own evil.
Consider your high school bully. The only reason that person had a chip on his/her shoulder was not because of what their victim did right or wrong, but rather because of what was going on inside of them. Your behavior is a window into your thought process.
The old adage goes when someone shows you who they are believe them. Our maladaptive behaviors are a reflection of our insecurities. I act rude to you because I am insecure about a certain aspect of myself that your comment/action just revealed in me. Within the context of self-respect, it is important that we discuss interpersonal relationships because this is where we see it most clearly manifest.
My brand is all about helping people make their dreams a reality. I believe that it is possible for people to live in a state of perpetual prosperity. What I mean by that is, regardless of what your bank account may look like, and regardless of what your life circumstances may be, it is possible for you to experience the fullness of life.
Who you are is more important than what you do. We live in a society that praises the title. We gawk over the CEO, the President of something, and the billionaire, but walk pass and dismiss someone we determine in our own high mindedness is not of value. Aside from this line of thinking being erroneous it is hypocritical.
No one is perfect and we all fall short at something. Just the idea alone that we may snicker at someone that we deem less than reflects the inadequacies that we have festering in our own lives. I am a big fan of Jay Z and consider him one of my mentors, but I will be the first to tell you that he has never supported any of my dreams. Not that I expect him to, but rather to make the point that just because you look up to someone does not mean that they are looking down back at you.
When it comes to our every day lives, we get so caught up in the big moments and in the big breaks, when in fact 90% of our lived experience is mundane. Every day that you show up to work you are most likely participating in the same daily activities. My primary job is that I write. What I write about may change, but at the end of the day I still sit behind a screen and click keys on a keyboard.
Living a prosperous life is not about being better than your counterpart, having the greenest grass on the block, having more money than your friends, or living an over the top lifestyle. Living prosperously is about living a life that is in alignment with who you really are.
When you get up and look in the mirror are you happy with the person staring back at you. When you reflect on your life can you stand by your decisions? Unfortunately for a lot of us we have believed the lie that happiness is a pipe dream. We tend to associate how happy we are with how much money and material things that we have. The happiness barometer however, is not indicative to how much stuff you have, but rather, it is representative of your capacity to operate from a place of abundance.
The bible says that the secret to life is contentment. Being content means being able to live a full life no matter what you may be experiencing. This means that if you have a lot, you do not live frivolously, and if you have little, you do not live in a way that diminishes your quality of life.
What good is it to have all the money in the world, the newest cars, the biggest house, and coolest technology? For one, all that stuff is, is a more expensive bill every month. And secondly, if all it is doing is bringing more stress into your life, is it worth it? On the other end of that spectrum, if you do not have a lot, instead of focusing on what you do not have, focus on what you do have. When you shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance you will always have everything you need.
Living a life that perpetuates prosperity is about living within your means, but also having a vision for more. If you are alive that means you have purpose. Whether you are 18 or 81, if air still flows through your lungs there is something for you to accomplish on this planet.
And here is the kicker, whatever it is that is your mission in life, it is not even for you. No man is an island unto themselves, but also, no man solely lives for himself. Whatever you are called to do in this life, it is supposed to reverberate and impact a generation. Your vision should be big enough to include other people.
Prosperity is not just about what you get, it is about what you do with what you get. Are you actively looking for people and communities to bless with your abundance? To whom much is given, much is required. The fact of the matter is, you may not have what you want in life because you are not being a good steward with what you already have.
If nothing else, you have a mind and a perspective: How are you stewarding the way you think? At this point we are not even talking about money. Is your thought life right? How do you think about yourself? What about the people you have been given?
What I am talking about here are simple universal laws. The law of reciprocity states that what you do to/for someone else will be returned unto you. The law of attraction states that what you put out into the world gravitates towards you. in other words, we determine our lived experience every day just based on how we engage with the seemingly insignificant moments in our lives.
That is why I am careful with how I talk to other people. I consider the life of someone else. Have you ever truly empathized with someone? Tried imagining yourself in their circumstance? At the end of the day we are all human, which from the most basic sense means we all eat and we all use the bathroom. What good are you if you cannot even relate with someone on that level?
This is important in relation to your dreams being made manifest because at some point in your life, if you have not already, you will come across someone who does not look think or act like you. And the irony of life is, that same person will be the one who will be able to help you. How you consider someone within your same species (meaning they have two legs, two arms, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, one nose, and one mouth) will determine how far you go in your life.
We are living in a value economy. People determine your worth in their life based on what you bring to the table. I have said it before, and I will say it again, money in and of itself is not real. The only value money has is the agreed upon value that we as a society put on it.
If tomorrow everyone decided a piece of paper with a number printed on it no longer had any significant value, money would be worthless. Do not believe me? Look at countries where their money has been devalued; What would cost 1 USD in America might cost 1000 notes in another currency. The only thing that truly matters is who you are and what value you have as a person. What you do with that value in relation to other people ultimately determines your trajectory in life.
From school age we are programed to dread Mondays, live for the weekend, and to force ourselves to do things that are not in alignment with who we are. How can someone be their best self when the world around them says that their best self is the wrong self. We praise people for working a 9 to 5 but mock those who follow their dream to start a business.
Has your dream been mocked? Maybe that is why you have given up on it. Your dream could be anything, it does not have to be to start a business, but my question is, who told you that it could not be done? I have people who mock me to this day who consider it foolish of me to pursue my dreams to be a blogger and business investor.
The fact of the matter is, whenever you have a dream you will always have someone around who says it cannot be done. It is not because you cannot do it, it is because they cannot do it. Any negative thing that a person puts on you, is a reflection of the negativity that person harbors within themselves. Be careful with who you allow to tend the proverbial garden of your life. Not everyone that is with you is for you, consider Judas and Jesus.
The truth about your dreams is this: they would not have been given to you if they were not meant to be fulfilled through you. The word desire means of the father meaning, God actually wants to fulfill your dreams in your life. You must learn to live untethered to reality. Just because things look bleak around you does not mean that there is no hope for you. You are a spiritual being having a physical experience. Life does not affect you; you affect life.
If you want to learn more and take this to the next level by discovering what exactly it is you should be doing to make your dreams a reality, sign up for my free Life Essentials course. In it I teach you how to be more mindful, how to navigate your relationships, connect with your spirituality, and manage your resources. The purpose of this course is to give you a blueprint on which you can build your dream reality around. Whatever your goal is, you can place it within this framework, and you will immediately start making significant strides towards success.
I guess I would consider this post as a continuation to the sentiments outlined in that last one. However, I want us to look at the implication of being tired and the resolution thereof. If you are tired, what do you do to resolve it? You rest.
I know for me I have been so focused on doing as much as I can whenever I can over the last several months that I have truly neglected taking time for proper self-care. One of the caveats to this, however, is that for a lot of people, we do not appear to be in a place right now where we can afford to rest.
What I mean by that is this: from the pandemic to the financial depression we are experiencing. From one of the most consequential United States Presidential elections, to an impending constitutional crisis. No matter how you try to slice this cake there is no clear resolution in sight.
Each and every one of us in some capacity is striving to come out on the other side of this moment in history on top. Even the idea of “coming out on top” can be heart wrenching to consider when you realize that over 200,000 people have died in America alone because of this pandemic (for perspective, that is worse than the casualties in the Vietnam War).
I am staying as zoomed out as I can on this topic because it is so widespread that in relation to what is going on in the world, you can probably identify areas of your life that have been directly impacted. I have shared how I am among the 30 million unemployed with no relief in sight.
I have had a personal covid scare, as well as several people in my family. And just this year alone I have lost 5 family members all or in part due to covid. The reality of the situation is dire not just for me but for people all over the world.
What I have come to realize however, is that in the midst of all of my striving and trying to persevere for myself, my friends, and my family, I have neglected an essential fact: I am a human. At some point we all have to come to ourselves and realize that all we can do is all that we can do.
You may find yourself in a similar situation where you think, “if I just keep pushing, just keep doing something than eventually things will change or get better”. While that may be true intrinsically, that ideology can be a dual edged sword because at some point you will run out of things to do.
While we like to believe we are limitless, the truth of the matter is that sometimes our options are few. And when we find ourselves in that predicament, we have one of two options: stay where we are, or turn around.
I have found myself faced with these two options several times over the last couple of weeks. Where I do not know what to do, and when I look around at the landscape the only thing I can do is either turn around and go back the way I came, or choose to wait and see if something happens.
I have deduced for myself that I cannot go back, there is nothing for me to go back to. The reason why I am here is because I was liberated from where I was at. You may in fact, find yourself in a place that you did not expect to be however, might I suggest to you, that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Before covid, I got up every morning to go to a job that I hated, associated with people who either I did not like, or they did not like me, and dreaded Sunday’s because all it meant was that tomorrow was Monday and I’d have to get back on the proverbial scroll wheel.
I was under appreciated, undervalued, and in some cases flat out disrespected. I did not know who I was, because I did not have the time to figure myself out. I knew I wanted more for myself, but for every three steps I took forward, I would end up taking two steps back.
I would be consumed with trying to please people who straight up did not consider me. No thought of my existence would come to their mind except for when I showed up late, did something wrong, or asked for help.
What would I gain if I went back to living a life of misery? One might say money, which is a valid point, but riddle me this: is a piece of paper that has no intrinsic value aside from what a society puts on it, that could eventually be worthless due to inflation and in and of itself cannot buy happiness actually make a man happy?
I would rather be broke and happy than rich and discontent – because then at that point I would just be ungrateful. I will be honest, I do not want to complain every moment of my waking life. I do not want to be accountable to someone who is not willing to be accountable to me.
The thing that covid has showed me the most is that the only thing in life that matters is life itself. Who I am is more important than what I do, and my capacity for love is far more valuable than my list of accomplishments.
In the bible it says that life is meaningless. In other words, what we do does not really matter. Who we are matters more, because who you are influences what you do. Life truly ultimately hinges on an individual’s morality and value system.
That is why when faced with the choice to turn around and live a life out of alignment with who I am or, to stay where I am; I will always choose the latter. Now easier said than done, but from a practical perspective, no one is going to ask Wolfgang Puck to direct a film.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stay in your lane. What is for you is for you. The word desire means ‘of the Father’ meaning, that those desires that you have in your heart, God actually wants them to be fulfilled in your life.
It would not have been put in you if it was not meant to be fulfilled through you.
If you find yourself in a position where you have been doing all that you can and you are just flat out tired of trying, get some rest.
‘Que Sera Sera’, what will be will be.
You do not always have to worry about your life, or consider your next move, sometimes all you need to do is rest and let things take its course. Even God rested on the seventh day. If you are reading this post then I have some good news for you: it is the seventh day.
The value in it being the seventh day is that seven means completion. There is nothing else for you to do because you have done all that you can. Allow your work time to germinate. After a farmer tills the ground, works the soil, plants the seed, and waters it, he does not come out the next morning expecting a field of crops.
Be diligent in working your ground but also take time to rest. I know for me, I cannot wait to go on vacation. I am making plans as I write this, if for no other reason than to just imagine the possibility of being able to get away.
Stop worrying about the logistics. You do not have what you want because you are too concerned about how it is going to happen. Why are you thinking about how something will happen when you do not even believe that something could happen?
Before you dismiss that seemingly outlandish idea, for a moment, suspend your unbelief and ask yourself, “well what if it did happen?”.
I am giving you the keys to your success right now. Untether yourself from your reality. Have sight beyond sight. You would not have gotten this far on your journey if you did not believe that you were journeying for something.
Your life is filled with purpose and meaning, all you must do is connect with it. Do not give up now, you are far too close to striking gold. If you were to turn around now you would regret if for the rest of your life. You would not have the momentum or motivation to set out on the journey again.
You owe yourself too much to quit on you now. Prove the doubters wrong by staying where you are, even if the doubter is yourself.
Take a break, get some rest. Ask any person who was tired and had a chance to get a good night sleep. I am talking deep REM sleep. That person will tell you that was one of the best nights of sleep they had ever had.
You are instore for one of the best moments of rest you have ever had. Life is conspiring on your behalf. Do not give up, just get some rest.
Are you living in alignment? Are you living in such a way that your mind body spirit and resources are in total synchronicity? The value in doing so is that when you are, you are positioned to live the life you were meant to – your dream life. I want to help you make your dreams a reality.
Sign up for my free life essentials course on the form below. This course will teach you how to align your wants and desires with your passions in such a way that life will begin to work for you and not against you. Sign up below and get started today; change your mind, change your behavior, change your spirit, change your life.
I do not know about you, but for me this week has been a drag. It has gotten better over the last two days, but generally speaking, I personally have been exhausted. I became tired of giving of myself. At some point even your most staunch activist gets tired of yelling at clouds.
And while I do not personally consider myself and activist from the traditional perspective of the word, what I will say is that even a blind man can see that there is something wrong with the world that we are currently living in.
I have noticed the societal decay on all levels from national to local to interpersonal. Since this year has started, I have shared hauntingly prolific posts and insights not just on the state of the world but also on the state of individual lives. We are facing depravity the likes of which is too insurmountable to comprehend.
You could literally hurt your brain trying to consider all the things that have and are still going wrong in our world today. And this is not just a zoomed-out perspective: Personally, I am among the near 30 million Americans who are currently unemployed. I fall in the category of people who are not only unemployed but are statistically less likely to find reemployment as time continues to elapse.
As the Stock market continues to soar industries continue to be eviscerated. Just yesterday, airlines announced 10s of thousands of layoffs. I watched the nightly news yesterday, and for a moment thought that I was in the apocalypse.
Real life has become divine satire.
Excuse my French, but this shit is a joke… I have been tired.
If your circumstances mirror the sentiment of this post, take action now and sign up for my free Life Essentials Course. This course is designed to help you get back in the driver seat of your life and take control of your narrative. You are not a product of your situation. Life is here to make you not break you. Take the first step to new life today and use the form below to sign up for my course!
When did you stop using your imagination? Kind of a weird question I know, but if you were to take a moment to reflect, at what point did you decide that you no longer had any room for your imagination? The reason why I ask this is because a lot of us suffer from imagination deprivation.
What I mean is, at some point in our lives it becomes “uncool” or unbecoming for us to use our imagination. A lot of times this happens as we age and mature. We think that only kids can use their imagination, and that there is no room for it in adulthood. I am here to let you know that, that line of thinking is erroneous.
What that means is, not only were we created by God/the universe, but we ourselves are creative beings. Creativity is a human’s superpower. Do not believe me? Look no further than our technological advances. It took some of the world’s most creative minds to get us to a place where nearly every person on the planet has a computer in their pocket.
Any and all art is an expression of creativity. From your favorite song to the most unique painting, it all is a product of creativity. The writing process is a creative process. Your favorite movie director is a creative. A chef is a creator. Whatever skill, job, or ability you can think of, it is rooted in creativity.
The source of your creative ability is grounded in your imagination. If you find yourself having a limited life experience might I suggest it is because you have put a limit on your imagination.
One of the unique attributes of children is their ability to engage with their imagination. Children can have fun doing almost anything. To them the world is limitless; they do not concern themselves with what they do not have, but rather, they immerse themselves in what they do have.
As we get older however, we begin to adopt a limited mindset that we call ‘realism’ and ‘pragmatism’. Now neither of these thought processes are disingenuous in and of themselves however, people tend to use them as a crutch as opposed to applying them as a perspective.
The clearest way you may see this play out in your life is when you think about all of the things that you cannot do. It is real easy for someone to say why they cannot do something and provide surface level legitimacy. The problem is, there is no intrinsic reason why people cannot do something aside from unbelief.
The fact of the matter is we only receive what we believe we are worthy of receiving. Too many people lack vision for themselves and operate on a seeing is believing agenda. What are you believing for if you are not seeing anything? Where there is no vision the people perish; if you cannot activate your creativity through imagination you literally stunt your own growth.
What happens is, people focus on the wrong questions. Stop asking yourself what if it does not happen and start asking yourself what if it does. Instead of listing why you cannot, ask yourself why not you and why not now?
Do you dwell in the desires of your heart or are they distant dreams that only come up in casual conversation? The word desire means of the father in other words, that thing that you want, the universe wants you to have it. Life is conspiring on your behalf.
To tap into this truth, you must imagine what it looks like. We are co-creators with God. He wants to express himself through us, and the way he does that is through our creative abilities. God gives us the vision, but we form it. That is why my motto is from the soapbox to the stage. Success and fame have been put on my heart as an aspiration and desire. I cultivate that dream through the way in which I choose to pursue it.
When you suspend your unbelief, for a moment you transplant yourself into your desires.Regardless of whether it has yet to manifest in your life, the value is in the feeling.
Level two of living your dream life is embodying it. Just for a moment, what would it feel like to have all the money you could ever want? What would it mean to you to have that significant other enter your life today? How much better would your life be if your business took off by the time you finish reading this post?
Suspending your unbelief does not mean neglecting your reality, it means that even if just for a moment, you allow your mind to defy your reality. 95% of brain activity is unconscious meaning that, most of our waking experience is a by product of a deeply rooted subconscious belief.
What if you could change your mind? How would that impact your behavior? What imprint would that leave on your spirit? This is what living in alignment is all about – having fidelity to yourself. Living in such a way that your mind body and spirit are in total synchronicity.
It all starts with your imagination. If you can take back control of your imagination you can tap into your creativity which will in turn, lead you to live out your desires. Stop allowing the world to dictate what you can and cannot believe. Most of your life is not even what you experience physically; What you experience physically reflects how you process things internally.
Instead of choosing to only see what is possible, start believing in what seems impossible. This is where the road to change starts; It is the difference between what you currently see, and what you believe could be.
I want to hear from you! Leave a comment below if you found value in this post.
One of the inevitabilities of life is waiting. We all wait. Your average driver spends 20% of their time waiting at red lights. Have you ever gone to a restaurant with a line? After taking your name down at the host station the next thing you receive is a wait time, not a table. And, once you get the table you still have to wait for your food. If you have ever been to a DMV, going into that situation, you already know that 90% of your time spent there will be waiting.
Waiting has a tedious quality to it. The wearisomeness that ensues from waiting typically stems from the fact that on the other side of that waiting period is an expectation, a desired outcome. The implication of waiting is that there is something worth waiting for on the other side. The problem that usually comes up is, the thing that we are waiting for, and the duration of time spent waiting, may be disproportional.
To go back to the restaurant analogy, most people probably have no qualms with waiting for a table anywhere between 20 – 45 minutes depending on the occasion. The issue arrives if they must wait for an hour or more for a table. Then suddenly, what was once a worthwhile wait has become a hassle, a chore, and in some cases not even worth it.
The same can happen as it relates to our dreams and aspirations. Sometimes we lose hope because what we want is taking too long to show up. What do you do when what you are passionate about, is not necessarily, passionate about you? This is where the art of waiting comes in, because in most cases a delay is not a denial.
If you are living in alignment, then what you are pursuing is indicative of who you are. In other words, you probably are not waiting for something that is not worth waiting for. If you are, then you have already answered your question on why what you want has yet to manifest.
The reality of waiting is that it is a proactive activity. To wait is a verb, meaning to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens. When you are asked to wait, more often than not, it is out of your control.
This can be frustrating, because in all realness, who likes waiting for anyone or anything? We live in the information age meaning, that we have an instantaneous mentality. With a near infinite amount of information at our fingertips, it is quite easy to disillusion ourselves from the concept of waiting.
Unfortunately, however, for those who do that to themselves, they deny themselves the beauty and value found in patience. Patience is a characteristic of love. To wait for someone or something means that you love them/it. Sometimes we must wait because God wants to see how much what we are waiting for truly matters to us.
You are a spiritual being having a physical experience meaning, that life expresses itself through you. This is valuable to understand because as you live, you grow into who you are not what you want. Sometimes a waiting period, is a maturation period. . .