Give a person an inch and they will take a mile, welcome to the world of being a nice guy. I use the phrase “guy” loosely, the sentiment of this post can apply to anyone. That being said, when you think of the stereotypical nice guy the image that comes to mind for a lot of people is the kindhearted male. He’s perpetually down on his luck but well intentioned. He has a lot of good qualities and often goes out of his way for others. He is also fairly forgettable. If you know a nice guy then some of these characteristics should sound dead on. Simply put, the nice guy is a push over.
The reason why people like having a nice guy around is because they can typically get over on him. People take advantage of the nice guy. That’s why he finishes last. People are too busy stepping on him for him to be able to get ahead in his life. The intrinsic issue with the nice guy is that he allows himself to suffer abuse from others. He does this out of the kindness of his heart. He does not know any better.
A nice guy customarily really is nice. He has a big heart. He wants to be kind and helpful to others. On a primal and instinctual level, people tend to associate those type of characteristics with weakness. A nice guy gets pushed around by people because they think that they can do so; and they are usually right.
Why are Nice Guys Nice?
What motivates a nice guy to be nice? Just because you are a nice person does not mean you have to be a nice guy. So why do these people engage in these toxic behaviors and relationships? It’s because they want to be loved. A nice guy is a person looking for love in all of the wrong places.
A nice guy thinks that if they do one more kind gesture for that person then that will be the thing that will get that person to start thinking fondly of them. The truth is however, no matter how many niceties a nice guy shows a person, that will not be the thing that will change their perception of them.
If a person is used to you being kind to them all of the time then continuing to do so will not change what they think of you. That is insanity-doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Being nice is a nice guy’s default, so they have to learn how to be “un-nice.” This does not mean, mean, but rather, reserved.
A nice guy does not have to stop being nice they just have to become more particular about when they choose to do so. The natural inclination is to assume that I mean become an asshole, and while that is an option for a nice guy, what I am suggesting is, instead of being nice to ten people, be nice to one or two while avoiding the others.
There is love out there for a nice guy, but you do not have to go through abuse to receive it. Your quality you have to incline yourself towards others as a nice guy is not a bad thing it’s just misplaced. Not everyone has earned your kindness. And even if a person has they still do not have the right to take advantage of you. As a nice guy, your capacity for kindness is not for everyone.
Being Nice Is a Good Guy’s Super Power
There are specific people in the world that will receive your kindness. Do not whore your kindness around. Be judicious and protect your loving nature. Otherwise if you do not you run the risk of being hurt by someone one too many times.
Everyone has their breaking point, even a nice guy. The people who use nice guys are not particularly concerned about their feelings or state of being. Do not care for someone more than they are willing to care for you. Do not change your character just be aware that not everyone has the right to have access to you. If you are a nice guy, know your worth. You are more valuable than being taken advantage of.
The only reason why a person seeks to take advantage of a nice guy is because they need help in their own way. Being self-fulfilled is a blessing. When you do not have to mistreat someone or try to get over on someone to feel satisfied you are well positioned in life to be successful. People who are not secure in themselves will try to make you doubt yourself. People who use nice people to their advantage are losers in the grand scheme of life.
If a person repays your kindness with evil they are insecure. If you are a nice guy your kindness is your superpower, you just have to learn how to wield it. When Superman fights his enemies he always holds back. Unless he is fighting Darkseid or Apocalypse, Superman will reserve most of his strength less he kills someone. If you are a nice guy your kindness is akin to Superman’s super strength, reserve it for those who can handle it.
Ken
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