Over the next few days and possibly couple of weeks, I am going to be releasing content directly related to my new book “The Pursuit of Passion: How to Sequence your Life for Success“. There is some amazing content in there that I know your life is going to be changed by when you purchase your copy, if you have not already.
The following is an excerpt of out chapter 10 in the book entitled “Relationships”; let me know what you think in the comments section below. Enjoy:
I have talked about family; we have discussed friends, but now let’s talk about “the one”. Your significant other, your partner, your “better half”. This is the person that you morph your life together with, to create something that is greater than the sum of its parts. Some people get really attached in romantic relationships being so into the other person that they lose themselves.
Some know how to strike that healthy balance of care, support, and consideration that makes every day feel brand new. And some are literal thrill rides waiting to see which passenger will jump first. This is not a dating column or an intro lesson on marriage, but what I am trying to impress on you is that at this level, who you have in your life matters.
Beyond the vanity of sexual attraction who you have as your spouse can make all the difference in the trajectory of your life. In the Bible there is a story about this man named Job. He was a wise and faithful man who loved the Lord. One day he became a target for Satan and was left desolate and without any of his worldly possessions. Even still he (Job) remained committed to God to the point where his wife got so irritated with him that she said, “why don’t you just curse God and die”. Thank God Job did not listen to her because if he had his story would have turned out differently. The person who is in your corner should be in your corner.
Do not be unevenly yoked meaning, do not subjugate yourself to 70/30, 60/40, 80/20 relationships where you are always the one carrying the heavier load. Your romantic relationships should be one that is truly of mutual benefit. This is a testament of wholeness. You do not want to be in any position where someone is one foot in one foot out as it comes to you. Oh, but you love that person? It’s okay to love from a distance.
This is one of the areas of traversing your road to success that a lot of people will trip up on. Just because you are growing does not mean you have to let go of those you love and care for. Truth be told anyone who leaves you was never for you in the first place. People come for reasons seasons and lifetimes, and too many times especially in our romantic life, we will give someone lifetime access that only deserved a season pass. You have to be able to compartmentalize what a person means to you. What do I mean? This may sound messed up, but ask yourself objectively, ‘how important is a specific relationship really?’.
Sometimes we tend to hold on to a relationship just because we have history via shared experiences. The issue that tends to pop up with this type of relationship however is, as one person grows the other person cannot or refuses to acknowledge that person’s growth. This leads to dissension because all of a sudden amicability goes out of the window and resentment begins to creep in. Treating the people in your life with a degree of objectivity also keeps them from lording over you. People who cannot go where you can, will try to keep you from going. Remember that you are responsible for your own quality of life – you only receive what you believe you are worthy of receiving. If you do not believe you can find someone better, you will not.
If you only believe that your ambition can only go as high as someone else’s ceiling for your life, then that will be your reality. No one should actively try or want to keep you from being all that you were created to be. Sometimes you have to stand in the gap for yourself, advocate for yourself, and find a degree of fidelity with yourself that will hold you and those you have or invite into your life to a high standard.